just 10 pm thought

Di hidup ini, 
gak akan ada keadaan dimana 
semua 100% baik atau 100% buruk.

Ambil baiknya. kalo bisa dilanjutkan.
Kalo buruknya gabisa diubah, 
ya abaikan aja, gausah diikuti.

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seandainya emang sesimpel itu~


s.

2017 scribbles

I bet people have mixed feeling on the airports,
people say goodbye, people who get exited to meet their loved ones, their newest adventure.
People who runaway from their responsibility or people who'll facing their responsibility.
But still, they all look the same from the outside.

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No matter how much other places exited me,
home will always be my choice.

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Seperti fatamorgana,
terlihat membahagiakan namun fana,
tidak nyata.

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Akan menjadi apa?


Aku  ingin menjadi tujuan mu pulang.
Saat tak ada yang mendengarmu.
Saat dunia terasa begitu berat untuk kau pikul sendiri.

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"you are here because there's something destinied for you here"

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Because we didn't see our self with other's eyes.
Thats why we didn't know how great we are.
We see our self everyday and get used to our self.

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The uncertainty.
That's what terrified us the most. we have no clue about the future.
But eventually things clear out by itself, we scared because we don't know.
Yet soon you will.

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You can't see it, even if its right there in front of you.
If you don't know what you're looking for. you can't see it.

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Sariayu hijab intense series review

hey all, udah beberapa bulan ini aku mulai berhijab, masih newbie sih dan masih belum tau banyak soal itu. dari cara makenya, jenisnya dan termasuk cara ngerawat rambut yang pastinya 
terpengaruh karna bakalan lebih sering ketutup.

Nah, sariayu punya line khusus untuk perempuan berhijab, namanya sariayu hijab intense series, shampoo ini nge claim bisa mengurangi masalah khususnya kerontokan untuk rambut berhijab dengan Sariayu Hijab Intens. Dengan kandungan ekstrak kacang polong dan kedelai dalam 
PeaVit Complex serta mild surfactant yang memiliki 3 langkah intensif:

• Mengurangi kerontokan rambut.
• Membantu menguatkan akar dan inti rambut.
• Membantu melindungi dan memperbaiki rambut dari kerusakan.

Kalo dipake rasanya kepala jadi adem karna ada sensasi mentholnya, jadi kalo hijaban yaa ga kegerahan sih, jadi ga gampang lepek rambutnya, trus sama wanginya enak!

so far sih aku suka.

Well, that's all i could say about this product, you should try it on your own,

selamat mencoba!

my wall used to be so high.
but now it burn down to the ground.
i never let my self  falling this fast.
but i already let my self drown to you.

Dear, F

There's this really nice guy who came into my life when i'm not expecting any attention from anyone.

but i admit that i feel lonely sometimes. he's a total stranger. i know nothing about this guy. and he lives 

quite far from where i live. but there's something about him that makes me want to know more about him..

Day by day passed and he bring lots of smile and laughter to my face. he gave me attention i never had
for a long time and just like that he suddenly become the person that i want to share every story with.

i trust him already. and he brings back those butterfly in my stomach. i found my self falling for him.

he's a stranger at first but now, he become my favorite man beside my dad and my bro.

Dear you, thank you for coming into my life and loving this average girl with so many flaws.
thank you for making me feels like i'm special. thank you for being there when i need you.
thank you for your effort and willingness to be with me. because i know its not easy.

I wish i could be the shoulder when you need somebody to lean on, a support system.
I wish you to have all the best in life because you deserve it. and the most important thing is, 

i want to make you happy, i want you to be happy :)

I appreciate everything that you did for us and i'll never take you for granted.

if only you could see yourself the way i see you.

you'll understand why i adore you so much :)

i love you.

Your grateful partner.

present & future

assumption

why do some people care so much about others personal issues.
why do they love to know things they shouldn't.
why bother spending your time assuming things
that doesn't even have anything to do with you?

well, people does assume, uncontrollable.
so don't waste your energy trying to stop them.
but, do we have to limit our self just to make them stop assuming?
to be out of those 'assumer' radar?
or is it better to act like you don't care at all?
maybe that'll work if you're not the overthinking type of person.


well.. what can we do.
people loves drama.

people should fall in love with their eyes closed.

people should fall in love with their eyes closed.

i've said it before about how my understanding level about things maybe is getting better as time goes by.
its a quote that I've heard before but recently i saw it somewhere (i forgot) and i agree with it.

people do should falling in love with their eyes closed.

its about how somebody make you feel, not something shallow like physical or material things.

(HORE)

Somehow I got through all of those bad days. There are some days when you felt so overwhelmed, suffocated. That’s what happened to me. When I’m stressed out I tend to forget breathing. (what?) doing those work without breathing. okay i still do. but there’s a gap between the inhaling process. I don’t know why I did that but I just did. But somehow I passed everything in the end. Those bad bays finally come to an end.

actually now that everything back to normal i could see that those days are not that bad.

(OH COME ON ITS ONLY THESIS DRAMA) (BUT ITS OVER NOW) 

(AND I GET AN A) (HORE)

to all teenagers out there.

nobody read my blog anyway. but if there's some and what i write could make one or two people feels better, it would be nice

well, i guess we cant make everyone like us, its upsetting when people start talking bad or being so mean to you. especially when you're at you teenage age when friends is your whole world is all about (maybe not for some). i used to worry about others opinion about me at that age. and of course there's some drama haha but i'm glad that happened earlier because those drama filtered toxic people from my life. and now i know that its a good thing that i turned my back from them.

the lesson i learned is that not everyone will stay in your life, the people around you will change, some will stay and some will leave. and its a good thing. i learned that if someone is giving you a hard time by being mean to you, just get them out of your life as soon as you can, life is hard sometimes and you don't need another person who will make it worse.

its not like you have to got benefit from being friend with someone but at least they shouldn't make you feel bad. just leave. its easier that way. its not like they're the only friend you have. there's a lot more people out there. the nice one, to walk away from negative people doesn't make you a bad person.

i'm not telling you to runaway from your problem, of course you should stand up for yourself  BUT if the situation doesn't change you need to know that you don't have to deal with them all the time. you don't have to feel those negativity, maybe you're supposed to leave because they're not good for you. because you have the control of who you're going to keep in your life. so keep your circle positive and just walk away from those negative people. they're just wasting your time.

stay happy and awesome
cheerssss

Journey

I just had some coffee after procrastinating all morning till now its already past 1 pm. And I got LOTS of works to be done. But you know sometimes days like this happen. A lot. Haha (sarcastic laugh)

I’m supposed to look for some images of food for my final project but of course I ended up being on ig. Not stalking others, but checking my own feed. What a …… . okay so I looking trough my feed. I deleted somephotos cause I think It ruin my feed (ya) and  I saw old photos and reminiscing some old memories. then I have this thought.

I am almost 22. This year I’ll reach that number. I feel old. Time does flies huh. Lets called my life as a journey. I look back and realize how much I admire some people when I’m in high school and just seeing them from the distance. Read everything about them. I have no intention of meeting them or to be like them at first because I live in a small town but deep down I always have that dream about living my dream like they did.

I never planned it but I went to college in Jakarta. And the opportunity start coming one by one. Not in a close range of time but somehow its leads me nearer. I remember when I saw Diana rikasari for the first time at sushi tei plaza indonesia. She’s wearing red coca-cola blink blink shirt and I’m wearing a formal top and skirt. Because its an internship interview. And ya in my way home I just cant stop smiling and thinking omg I just have an interview with the person I adore. It’s a big deal for me. And Alhamdulillah I got that internship. I gained a looots of new experience. Seeing a lots new people and everything.

Months later I interviewed Katherine kanardi, ykha amelz, Martha puri and a lot more through email for my college thesis and got to interview kak haqi cahya in person. And I asked them about dreams and stuff. Their stories inspired me a lot and they’re so humbleeeee :”)

Maybe for some people its nothing. They’ll be like “whats so good about that. You’re just seeing them not being like them” but whatever. I’m happy tho.

In this 22 years journey I’ve met some of those people I admire. I’ve got to interview some of my role model. I’ve got to work with some. I’ve have some deep conversation with them about how they started and it’s feels like nothing special when that happening but when I look back to when I started it feels like I’m moving. Just like that my life leads me to them somehow and I learned a lot.

I remember I read or hear the opinion that said the twenties is the crucial age where everything begin. Its almost 2 years already since I passed the 20. I don’t know where my life would lead me to. Where god wants me to end up. Till at some point, i’d love to inspire others too.

girl's stuff

Dolce & Gabbana FW 2013

"its better to feel pain, then nothing at all"

"its better to feel pain, then nothing at all"

- mumford & sons

the first time i heard that i thought like,
"oh really, why someone would rather to feel pain than nothing, pain is hurt".
but of course like they said, as we grow old we're become more mature.
we understand what we didn't before.

yes, pain is hurt. but because we've already felt how the pain feels like,
we'll become more grateful when we feel the happiness after that. we'll appreciate more.

what is happiness without sadness? none. life would be so flat. and boring.

cause haters gonna hate

so, i just found out that one of my role model has  a lot of haters out there. who's mocking and talk bad about her. but what interesting is, she's still shining.
she still out there making the most of her life, making money, doing fun project, being productive and all that. 
and what her haters do? just hating her.
she's unique, she's has her own way. maybe that's why she has some who doesn't have the same taste (but also doesn't have anything to do except hating people who doesn't have the same taste with them)
but of course you can't pleased everyone right. 
lesson learned, even when they talked bad about you, it won't matter if you ignore them and keep doing what you do best. haters will hate. but they wont affect you if you don't let them to.

hanya isyarat - Dee

Aku meghela napas. Kisah ini terasa semakin berat membebani lidah. Aku sampai di bagian bahwa aku telah jatuh cinta. Namun orang itu hanya mampu kugapai sebatas punggungnya saja. Seseorang yang cuma sanggup kuhayati bayangannya dan tak akan kumiliki keutuhannya. Seseorang yang hadir sekelebat bagai bintang jatuh yang lenyap keluar dari bingkai mata sebelum tangan ini sanggup mengejar. Seseorang yang hanya bisa kukirimi isyarat sehalus udara, langit, awan, atau hujan. Seseorang yang selamanya harus dibiarkan berupa sebentuk punggung karena kalau sampai ia berbalik niscaya hatiku hangus oleh cinta dan siksa.

“Sahabat saya itu adalah orang yang berbahagia. Ia menikmati punggung ayam tanpa tahu ada bagian yang lain. Ia hanya mengetahui apa yang ia sanggup miliki. Saya adalah orang yang paling bersedih, karena saya tidak mengetahui apa yang tidak sanggup saya miliki”. Kusudahi kisahku seraya menyambar botol bir yang tidak lagi jadi piala dan mendadak terlihat sanagat menarik.

(Hanya Isyarat – Dee)

Diana rikasari

there's always something good coming, remember that

i remember 3 months ago i felt terribly upset and sad about something. i couldn't get trough an event that i'd really love to participated on.

now i could see the bigger picture, i was meant to be upset and couldn't get trough that first choice so i could be here right now and having a lot of new experience which i wouldn't be able to get if i weren't fail at first.
just like my favorite quote

"there's always something good after the bad one"

our choices even the smallest one does effect our live. so, if you fail, don't give up, just simply give it another shot or try another opportunity. maybe you're supposed to be failed so you move on to another opportunity. to the best one for you that would just suit you.
have faith, peeps!