2017 scribbles

I bet people have mixed feeling on the airports,
people say goodbye, people who get exited to meet their loved ones, their newest adventure.
People who runaway from their responsibility or people who'll facing their responsibility.
But still, they all look the same from the outside.

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No matter how much other places exited me,
home will always be my choice.

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Seperti fatamorgana,
terlihat membahagiakan namun fana,
tidak nyata.

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Akan menjadi apa?


Aku  ingin menjadi tujuan mu pulang.
Saat tak ada yang mendengarmu.
Saat dunia terasa begitu berat untuk kau pikul sendiri.

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"you are here because there's something destinied for you here"

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Because we didn't see our self with other's eyes.
Thats why we didn't know how great we are.
We see our self everyday and get used to our self.

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The uncertainty.
That's what terrified us the most. we have no clue about the future.
But eventually things clear out by itself, we scared because we don't know.
Yet soon you will.

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You can't see it, even if its right there in front of you.
If you don't know what you're looking for. you can't see it.

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(HORE)

Somehow I got through all of those bad days. There are some days when you felt so overwhelmed, suffocated. That’s what happened to me. When I’m stressed out I tend to forget breathing. (what?) doing those work without breathing. okay i still do. but there’s a gap between the inhaling process. I don’t know why I did that but I just did. But somehow I passed everything in the end. Those bad bays finally come to an end.

actually now that everything back to normal i could see that those days are not that bad.

(OH COME ON ITS ONLY THESIS DRAMA) (BUT ITS OVER NOW) 

(AND I GET AN A) (HORE)

cause haters gonna hate

so, i just found out that one of my role model has  a lot of haters out there. who's mocking and talk bad about her. but what interesting is, she's still shining.
she still out there making the most of her life, making money, doing fun project, being productive and all that. 
and what her haters do? just hating her.
she's unique, she's has her own way. maybe that's why she has some who doesn't have the same taste (but also doesn't have anything to do except hating people who doesn't have the same taste with them)
but of course you can't pleased everyone right. 
lesson learned, even when they talked bad about you, it won't matter if you ignore them and keep doing what you do best. haters will hate. but they wont affect you if you don't let them to.

there's always something good coming, remember that

i remember 3 months ago i felt terribly upset and sad about something. i couldn't get trough an event that i'd really love to participated on.

now i could see the bigger picture, i was meant to be upset and couldn't get trough that first choice so i could be here right now and having a lot of new experience which i wouldn't be able to get if i weren't fail at first.
just like my favorite quote

"there's always something good after the bad one"

our choices even the smallest one does effect our live. so, if you fail, don't give up, just simply give it another shot or try another opportunity. maybe you're supposed to be failed so you move on to another opportunity. to the best one for you that would just suit you.
have faith, peeps!

i am blessed

i am blessed. because of the pain i felt makes me stronger.
i am blessed. because of my flaw i learn to accept my self and compromise others flaw too.
i am blessed. because i dont have an easy life. so i got motivated to make it better for me and the people i love.
i am blessed. because i'm not perfect so i tried harder and pushing my self more.
i am blessed. because all the things that happen to me in my life

what.if.

What if he love you. And the feeling is so damn much that make him couldn’t look back at your eyes ? but he doesn’t know that you are desperately falling for him too and want him to look at your eyes and give you attention.

The person who had a crush on you could be the arrogant person in front of you. He know you’re there and seeing you from the corner of his eyes trying to focus at something else but instead he’s watching you. Secretly..

He’s act like he doesn’t care but he does. He wake up everyday hoping to see you that day. Dress up to impress you but still act like he doesn’t care. Waiting for the day that he will see you again every week. Counting every day that left. That’s how desperately he is

He’s just too shy to show it.
He doesn’t want to make it obvious ..

the last time I posted is on april '14 last year. and now its feb '15 already. time flies.
I don't know why. I have this weird mix feeling after re read all my blog post here. and see how my life has change a lot now. life has bring me this far.  lot of things happen.

its disappointing how I stop writing. i'm not even have any diaries like I used to.
i'll start to write again. lets hoping that its not just another empty promise from me.
but first i need to take some old embarrassing post down for humanlife's sake.

pinky promise !

ketika pertama bertemu denganmu aku tak menyangka akan terjatuh sedalam ini. aku yang waktu itu sangat tidak mudah percaya.

seperti kamu yang mengajarkan ku untuk lepas. aku yang dulu selalu menahan diri, berpegangan erat karna takut jatuh. kamu mengajaran ku untuk perlahan melepaskan pegangan ku pada pengaman. menyuruh ku berteriak agar semua lepas. dan membiarkan tubuhku terombang ambing oleh segala lemparan dan putaran.

yang ternyata menyenangkan..


dulu, menyayangi mu terlalu dalam pun aku tak berani. walau pada akhirnya tidak semudah itu menahan keinginan hati.
dan untuk pertama kalinya, aku tak meragukan apapun tentang mu.

happiness could be a very simple thing

happiness could be a very simple thing sometimes,like when the best part of the day is come. when it comes to me, my favorite time of a day is when the sky is  slowly getting dark outside. blue turn into dark blue, with an orange shade then turn into solid black, then the street lamp in front of my room will bright everything up a little bit. i love it. i'll let everything that way for a while, just sit in my chair enjoying the view and the wind. put on a good music based on my mood on the condition. the sky is getting darker outside but i don't care, i still have my room's lamp off. just enjoying the silent moment. and i'll let the windows open. its nice to have a time to relax, or to think. i feel peace. when's your moment?

hi, its gonna be an untitled post. writing all of the thought which has been flying around my head for last couple hours. okay. its still a long long way road to walk by. i mean, my life. i'm turning 19 last month (oh i hate the fact that next year i'm turning 20) and with this kind of brain which always worried and over-think everything become more complicated than it should be. like the thing that i already saw it coming but not happened yet but still making me down when its happened. maybe i need to make a big poster with the "you're young, you still got much time to grow and learn things" but hey what if i die young?-here you go the pessimistic side of me is taking control again-  but that might be happen okay, cory just leave us in a couple days ago. it could be be next or you. but i'm still nothing hmm, sometimes i realized that feelings are temporary. but for the bad one, its still drowned me to the deepest  (cielah) on the other side i know that it wont last forever. i ain't gonna be sad my whole life. buttttttttt (there's always the 'but' ugh) when the sun still not rising i'll be sit there in the dark. pathetic.

feeling like writing something

I think I need to write now, really2 need to. Just let my fingers dancing in the keyboard now. Don’t judge. I just need to write down everything so my head wont explode.

I’m fragile, overly sensitive person. Also an over-think person. Easy to get sad and making my eyes wet.  I know exactly the causes. But I’m a fool. And I keep doing it. Even I know I’ll get hurt, again. Sometimes I feel like its not good to be a good person.  When I was a child, I always put what other wants before mine. And get sad when other don’t do the same to me. Keep doing what they want and ignore mine. Maybe that because I always let them to.  My fault maybe. So, as I grew up, I learned that we need to be selfish sometimes and ignore people. Because people never let you get what you want easily.  And I learned that when you treat people too good, they will hurt you. Bite you. Eat you. It’s like the world never let me relax by being a good person. Always make me scared and worried by being a good person. Scared of being hurt again.  I get hurt a lot. And too easy to forgive. But I never forget.  I’m not good at saying what I feel to people. I’m a silent person when I get mad. Keep it for my self. I wont tell anyone because I also learn that some people are happy by seeing you sad. My ego just not let me do that. Even  when I get really hurt. Why the hell is so hard to be a good person? I’m no a good person too. I hurt people sometimes. But you know the reason now right. Because if I keep give people what they want, it will sacrifices my own needs. Maybe everyone need to get hurt and hurting other people. Maybe that’s ‘life thing’. But I’m done. I just want to relax and no need to worry about other will hurt me. Can I have a life like that? I just wanna be a good person and enjoying my life. No more hurting and get hurt. Please

i feel so blessed

writing here, with this great mixtape from 8track, lying on my bed, the color of my room, the weather, everything.
just perfect combination..

thanks god i still could open my eyes this morning
thanks for giving them to me,i have great people around me
thanks for this air so i could breath and live
thanks for every single thing you gave for me
thanks for everything, every things
thanks god, thanks god

sometimes the lyrics of the song which i heard are related to what i feel ..

indeed

makan buku

all of these books will be my best friend for the next couple weeks until the final exam..

ketika kesetiaan diuji

to the point, kali ini gue mau nulis tentang cinta dua hati, eaa hahaha yaa kayanya itu lagi banyak dirasain sama temen2 gue. mereka udh punya pacar, LDR-an, dan naksir lagi sama orang yang ada di deketnya. dan orang itu pun nge respon. dan apa yang terjadi ? sang pacar pun ditinggal demi si gebetan baru. apakah worth it? menurut gue sih, engga

sayang banget. udah pacaran lama, semua hilang karna sekedar perasaan suka sesaat. dan nanti kalo sang pacar yang udah jadi mantan itu udh bener2 pergi dan pacaran sama orang lain, emang rela? rela gak? 

kalo iya yaa berarti keputusan lo bener, kalo engga yaa.. selamat menyesal deh..

biasanya kalo udah jadian sama si gebetan itu perasaan sukanya hilang. karna emang sekedar doang. dan itu yang terjadi di temen gue. suka nya hilang, dan diasangat menyesal udh mutusin pacar lamanya. 

peneysalan emang datengnya belakangan.

jangan sia siain orang yang sayang saama lo. lo baru bakalan ngerasa nyesel kalo dia pergi.kadang2 rasa sayang itu gak terlalu kerasa kalo udh terlalu dekat. karna rasa itu udh dalem banget. kadang2 rasanya jadi malah seakan2 gak ada lagi. padahal sebenernya ada. jangan sampe salah milih.. kalo orng yang lo sayang udh pergi mau nangispingsan juga dia gabakaln balik.. 

inget lagi kenapa awalnya lo bisa sayang, bisa suka. trus lo mutusin buat LDR, itu bukan keputusan gampang. kesetiaan diuji. kalo lo udh mau LDR, brarti lo yakin sama pasangan lo. gak rugi apa semuanya hilang cuma karna perasaan sesaat yang akhirnya cuma bikin nyesel?

jadi AYO KITA SETIA :D

another LDR video

mengingat sekarang gue juga LDRan, vidionya jadi pegangan nih, hahahaa

kita bisa sayang !!

love you,my trihadi maulana !!

XOXOXOXOXO

tunggu aku dijakarta

Masih saja kuteringat kata iringi kau pergi
Jadikan sore itu satu janji
Kau akan kembali untukku, serta untuk diriku
Mengingatku walau aku jauh
Akupun sempat janjikan, kukayuh semua mimpiku
Kulabuh tepat di kotamu
Dan kaupun slalu janjikan kau kan menungguku datang
Bersatu kembali seperti dulu
Dan bila akupun rindu pada nyamannya kecupmu
Pada indahnya tawamu
Kudendangkan dengan gitar lagu-lagu kesayangan
Sambil kuingat indah wajahmu
Tunggulah aku di Jakartamu
Tempat labuhan semua mimpiku
Tunggulah aku di kota itu
Tempat labuhan semua mimpiku


I'LL MISS YOU SO MUCH, MTM XOXO !!!

another fake account of me .. huft

dosa apaaaa gueeeeeee.. ada lagi nih orang gila ngaku2 jadi gue, twitter, plurk, salingsapa, onioning udah, dan kali ini blog, maaf ya kalo kedengaranya sok gimana gitu, gue gak seneng kali dipalsuin. gue takut malah, jangan2 dia udh smsan atau telfonan bahkan ketemuan sama orang dengan nama gue. hm tapi kalo ketemuan kayanya gamungkin.. kan ntar ketauan dong ya, yaa jadi blognya ada dua, tapi kayanya yang bikin orngnya sama .. soalnya fotonya sama gitu :O

 nih link nya : http://ikhaasixvere.blogspot.com

yang satu lagi : http://ikhaahavyswimp-ikha.blogspot.com/

DAN ISINYA NAUDZUBILLAH.

 

 "tempat cuhat tergaulku" ??? ewww jiji

 

ulangtaun gue 29 juni. bukan 24 juni -_________-

 

gue gapake behel 

 

siapa itu fitra ? andhine ? revina ? willyarvin ? hahahahhahahahahaha soooo funnyy

 

cieeee pake tau nama teteh segalam baidewai gue gapanggil kaka ke dia, manggilnya teteh. dan gue gapernah ke aceh 

 

heran .. masih ada aja yang kurang kerjaan ngerbuang2 waktunya pura2 jadi orang lain .. dan kira2 ini siapa sih ? gue yakin dia friend fb gue. dan dia ngarang cerita itu berdasarkan foto2 yang gue masukin ke facebook. dan nama orang2nya pun paling dari facebook. tapi kok bahasanya aneh gitu. bahasa orang mana tuh kira2 ya ? dan sekarang gue udh nge private akun facebook. semoga gak ada lagi yang gini2 amin ya allah

dasar psycho!!

kalo denger kata liburan, yang pertama kali muncul di pikiran gue itu, tasya.itu penyanyi cilik yang rambutnya panjang ,bajunya putih bedarah2 (hening) yaa jadi begitulah. nah setelah menghadapi ujian semester  yang menyiksa selama seminggu ini. akhirnya kmaren penderitaan selama satu semester pun berakhir dan skarang liburaaaaaaaaaaaaaan WOHOOOOO, sebenernya sih belom, baru mulai minggu depan. ada acara lomba2 futsal and so on gitu lah di sekolah, tapi gue memutuskan untuk gak ikutan. eh kecuali nonton kelas gue tanding deh kamis. (kita pasti menang ipa2!!!) yaa jadi rencananya, gue bakalan nge post setiap hari di sini, tentang hari2 liburan gue. penting abis emang. ya jadi liburan kali ini akan produktif yaa. harus produktif. semoga gak ada hari2 dimana gue cuma tidur seharian.

yaa jadi hari ini gue iseng search nama gue di google. gue ketik : sartika dwiputri, sartikartz sama sartikartzz

dan hasilnya :

post gue disini, dipake sama orang buat jualan. komisinya mana .. huhuhu

twitter things

bloggs things

APA APAAN INI

APAAA APAAAN INI

AAAAAAPA APAAAN INI !!

oke, sialan, ada yang make foto gue dan pura2 jadi gue. mana aalay. nyeremin gilaaa. kok bisa ya ada orang yang kurang kerjaan make2 foto orang lain buat bikin acc gitu? manfaat nya buat dia apaaa coba.itu juga.

yang kedua, orang gila bikin akun plurk pake data gue

dan isinya bner2 aaaaaaaaaaalay dan gaaak banget. nih beberapa nya:

 hebat ya dia ngarang cerita !! berarti dia kerjasama sama orang lain juga jadi seakan2 dia ini bner2 gue karna ada tmen2 nya gitu kan. niat abis

 kebohongan di dalam update anya yang pasti kalo org itu kenal gue pasti bakalan tau :
1. sejak kapan gue punya kucing? gue aja takut setengah mati sama kucing -,-
2. gue gapake beheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel
3. bekasi ? hah? kapaaaaaaaan? terakhir naik pesawat gue mah sd.

 pending katanya ? bbman sama siapa dia -,- jangan2 dia make bbnya pura2 jadi gue. wah wasting time bgt gilaaa. kurang kerjaan. atau si wandevypiet itu juga komplotanya yang beracting. tapi masa iya ? niat aaamat

"dari rumah blablabal" khayalan tingkat tinggi ..

 kesimpulan : orang ini pasti friend fb gue. kalo gak dia gamungkin tau soal si okhy segala .. yatuhaaaan ini namanya niat sangat niat nge malsuinya

ituu bersatu2 lagi apaan. wah .. gawat, update abis ya si pemalsu sama facebook gue. dan siapa itu teddyikha ? pake love you loveyou lagi !!, namanya ada ikha ikhanya. jangan2 udh pacaran !! jangan2 dia udh smsan atau telponan sama orang lain. dengan nama gueeeeee? 

 heloooohh, mantan gue siapa yang meninggal ? gila sarap sinting

pinter abis ngarangnya .. sangat niat.. sangat niat ..

oooohhhh !! dia juga bikin twitter gue ternyataaaaaaaaaaaa !!! gilaaaa !!

twitter di hackkk ? nenek lo. pemalsu gila


DAN MASIH ADA LAGI
nama situsnya salingsapa.com

 

yaa, jadi akun ini dibikin sama si pemalsu tggal 24 april kmaren. 

  wah tau nama si abi segala. update dia. pasti rajin liat timeline atau facebook gue

aaaaaaaaaaaaa 20 taun? mana ada yang percaya muka kaya gitu 20 taun. bodoh bodoh ..

astaga..
gue sih heran ya, buat apa sih manusia pemalsu ini bikin2 akun pake data gue ? manfaatnya buat dia apaaaa coba ? dan kenapa mesti gueee ? gue penasaran kan. gue cari juga di google temen2 gue. si okta, ica, dll, dan gada. cuma gue -,- dosa apa ikha ..
akun gue cuma ada facebook :sartika dwiputri sama twitter : @SARTIKARTZZ  oh ya sama twitter ini. yang lain2 gada. buset. udah kaya artis aja nih pake klarifikasi segala..
buat lo pemalsu gila ! MAKAN NIH !! *ala marshanda* semoga lo cepet sadar dan berhenti buang2 waktu lo buat hal yang gapeting dengan pura2 jadi orang lain. gilaaaaaa !!

its not about why, where, when, what, or how

its about who

and the answer is 

you ...

its always been you

reblog from nadira's