I think I need to write now, really2 need to. Just let my fingers dancing in the keyboard now. Don’t judge. I just need to write down everything so my head wont explode.
I’m fragile, overly sensitive person. Also an over-think person. Easy to get sad and making my eyes wet. I know exactly the causes. But I’m a fool. And I keep doing it. Even I know I’ll get hurt, again. Sometimes I feel like its not good to be a good person. When I was a child, I always put what other wants before mine. And get sad when other don’t do the same to me. Keep doing what they want and ignore mine. Maybe that because I always let them to. My fault maybe. So, as I grew up, I learned that we need to be selfish sometimes and ignore people. Because people never let you get what you want easily. And I learned that when you treat people too good, they will hurt you. Bite you. Eat you. It’s like the world never let me relax by being a good person. Always make me scared and worried by being a good person. Scared of being hurt again. I get hurt a lot. And too easy to forgive. But I never forget. I’m not good at saying what I feel to people. I’m a silent person when I get mad. Keep it for my self. I wont tell anyone because I also learn that some people are happy by seeing you sad. My ego just not let me do that. Even when I get really hurt. Why the hell is so hard to be a good person? I’m no a good person too. I hurt people sometimes. But you know the reason now right. Because if I keep give people what they want, it will sacrifices my own needs. Maybe everyone need to get hurt and hurting other people. Maybe that’s ‘life thing’. But I’m done. I just want to relax and no need to worry about other will hurt me. Can I have a life like that? I just wanna be a good person and enjoying my life. No more hurting and get hurt. Please